kia ora bro!

I don't really have that much to say, or at least, not much I want to say.

Since I haven't posted in a while and I have 2 hours to spare, I figured I may as well be "productive" and not just sit around staring at the computer screen like an idiot. Lol.

So remember that "study"opportunity I was talking about last time? Well I finally got the "ok" to go, except it came with the stipulation that I take it on my own time and use up my leave or go without pay for the duration. I guess the term "staff development" and all that means f***-all to these guys. Good to know! Good. To. Know.

Anyway I didn't care, I took it. I thought seriously for about 2 minutes of telling them where to stick their "stipulation", but I calmed down about half an hour later; enough to send them a nice sarcastic reply that probably went right over their heads anyway.

I arrived in Auckland last Saturday morning, went straight down to Wellington for must've been the fastest induction ever (15mins, tops) - enough time for them to go through the terms of my contract, hand over my stipend and put me back into a taxi to get back to the airport for my return flight to Auckland (where the actual "training" was supposed to be). I checked into the hotel at 5pm and knocked out.

I spent Sunday with the family in Manukau then came back into the city to prepare for my first day of "work".

Monday was a bit boring, as all first days are. Made the introduction rounds, met with the CEO and got stuck into a staff meeting that was halfway finished. I then spent the rest of the day hanging with the only two Pacific Islanders in the office - a nice middle aged Tongan lady, and a twenty something year old Samoan girl, who gave me her number, the low-down on her domestic situation and invited me over for dinner within the first hour of our meeting. Apart from her tendency to roll her eyes at her boss and a few of the older palagi ladies in the office, as well as the patronising manner in which she tried to "take me under her wing" (being from "Sa" and all), which I chalked up to her age and inexperience, and decided sure, she could be my friend for two weeks. Plus she shared her food with me (I'm always super nice to people who feed me), so that helped.

I was told earlier that morning that this would not be a set "training" per se, but more a work attachment (which is what I wanted in the first place), and I would be spending time with each division throughout my 2 weeks here. Fantastic! Not sure how much I would be able to glean in that short amount of time but I thought, bring it!

So the first two days I was with the "membership" department. They do everything from recruiting members to database management and retention support services. It is a full time division of about 8-10 people! We don't even have that many in our office! The second day I spent out "in the field" with one of their BDMs (Business Development Managers). Their job is to basically scope out potential members in and around the Auckland area and pretty much hunt them down to join! I'm serious. These guys are real, honest-to-God, professional salespeople.

To hear them sell the membership...I was only there to listen and observe, but by the end of the pitch I felt like I wanted to join! Like I needed to join! Talk about hard selling! Apart from the long drives in between the appointments it was an experience!

At the end of the second day they held their Annual General Meeting (AGM) after work. I don't know if that's just how efficient things are run around here, but it took all of 7 minutes to get through the agenda - financial reports, election of officers and all - and before we knew it we were being ushered out to the reception area where trays of food and drinks awaited us.

I wish I hadn't given up alcohol for lent on this trip because if there's one thing about organisations such as this, it's that there are so many networking events (this week there were at least 2), and the key (if you're not a natural extrovert) is having enough alcohol in your system to be able to mingle and converse with people without feeling the urge to hide in the bathroom until it's over. It wasn't that bad of course, I only wanted to hide about half the time, but you get the picture.

Being set up in the city for the 2 weeks, with the main bar strip just up the road from my hotel and St Patty's day falling on the day I arrived in Auckland...well, I guess it's a good thing I can't drink,eh. Hehe.

On Wednesday and Thursday I was sent to observe one of their youth employment initiatives out in South Auckland. I sat in on part of their training and I have to say it's amazing how eager these kids are to learn. Very bright young people - school leavers 16-19 years old - who just needed that kind of opportunity to give them the confidence to go out into the workforce and start earning a living for themselves and their families. This particular programme has been running for about 12 years and it's no wonder they do it so well.

It took me back to my school days (not THAT long ago, ahem!) and made me wish we could easily translate and run a similar programme for our youth back home. The ones who drop out of school, muck around town and basically being nuisances, some turning to petty crime or worse. I could just imagine the kind of people that would come through though...give me a couple of millions and I'll happily quit my job and run it, what do you say, Stui? Ha!

There are a number of other similar programmes run in tandom with other age groups and demographics, but I have yet to see them in action - stay tuned. :)

Today, the last day of my first week here, I have been back in the city office working with their international department. They basically handle any issues or requests with regards to exports and imports to and from any country for those businesses that are operating in that industry, as well as deal with the numerous councils and other NGOs within the region. Again, a team of 5 people concentrating solely on international business - to have even a fraction of the resources to be able to make all of these great works happen! Ok, back to my wishing well...

Anyway, that's my first week down pat.

Though I think they still don't know exactly what to do with me half the time and I am mindful of getting in people's way (everyone seems to be busy all the time), I'm enjoying my "attachement" and look forward to learning heaps more next week. Apart from the few boring bits in between it's been great so far.

When I'm not at work though I've been able to squeeze in a few visits to see my new nephew (born earlier this month), hang out with the family (my mom's here for a while), and also managed to spend some QT with the boy throughout the week. It's been nice...sugar and spice and all that until it's time to say good bye again...ehhhhhhhhh ka le lava fai gei mea faapea se! LOL.

So much for "not having much to say"...

Well look at the time. Must run off! :)

Happy weekending bloggers!

dial m for murder...

I'm sure everyone has, at some point or other, wanted to scream and throw something (preferably heavy and very sharp) at someone, and wouldn't feel an ounce of guilt if that sharp heavy object just happened to maim or even kill the object of one's frustration and/or ire.

No? Just me then? I'll take the insanity plea for $100, thanks! :)

Today has just been one of those trying days, where no matter how often you try to get your message through it's like knocking your head against a brick wall.  A very THICK one. At some point you have to stop otherwise you'll find yourself resorting to manslaughter...or worse.

I'm done.

Moving on!

"God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can; 

and wisdom to know the difference."

[Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr ]

B.R.E.A.T.H.E.

this has been the longest week...

I woke up this morning thinking it was Friday.  Two seconds later I wanted to bury my head under my pillow and go back to sleep!

There hasn't been a lot of that lately.  Feels like I haven't had a decent 8 hours' sleep, as my niece would put it, FOR AGES! And if you know me, you'd know that I love me some sleep!  Hehe. If I don't get enough I can't function properly and I get cranky REAL easily.  A morning person, I am NOT.

I feel like I'm running on a car battery that has been jump-started too many times and needed replacement ten years ago.  Ok, so car batteries don't last that long, but you get the picture :p

This week has been one long meeting after another.  Between that and trying to finalise our audit reports and everything else that seem to come up every two minutes, it's a wonder I haven't moved into the office permanently.  Our friendly neighbourhood rats, which co-inhabit our old office "fale" might have something to do with that :/

Last week I finally heard back about a training award I had applied for last year - nothing extensive just a month long attachment.  However I applied for it when I was in a different position at a different organisation. Now that they've finally come back and said I got it, I can no longer afford to be away from work for that long.  At least not without getting permission from 7 Board members who may or may not appreciate my need for capacity building and trust that the world will not come crumbling down while I'm away for 4 weeks. And time is of the essence.  If I don't get back with a firm "yes" to the donor by tomorrow they will cancel my award :(

Is it absolutely necessary that I go? No. Is the training still relevant to my current job? Maybe. Do I really really WANT to go? Hell yeah! LOL.   So there's the dilemma. What if my Board comes back and says NO? I guess I'll live, but damn it I worked hard to get that award, I should be able to go!

Of course it has absolutely nothing to do with my last entry about wanting to get out of here for a little bit...no, of course not! ;)

Anyway, more on that later.

While the meetings have been long, they have been fruitful and I can finally see some of these things getting done and getting done fast :) Great opportunities on the horizon for the industry and a few more for our members.  The lack of sleep has been worth it then, although I am looking forward to going into hibernation with a huge DO NOT DISTURB (OR ELSE!) sign this weekend :)

One more day to go...Lord, give me strength. Or several shots of caffeine.

the travel bug

It's been a month since I got back from my last trip and I'm already feeling the itch to get on the next flight out of here.  A fickle, fickle creature, am I.

This inability to stay in one place for too long has been a "illness" of mine for as long as I can remember.  I think it started after I went on my first trip without my parents when I was 11 years old.  It was the furthest I'd ever traveled in my life and I absolutely LOVED it.  I loved meeting new people, discovering new places by simply exploring and getting lost.  I loved immersing myself into a new culture and making friends with strangers from foreign lands.  I loved the sense of freedom it gave me. And for that short period of time my life had no plan, I was free to do what I wanted, and there was no one there to tell me I could or couldn't do it.

Next minute...back to reality! :(

Since then I've traveled for uni, came home for less than a year before I started applying for more scholarships to go away again. Haha.

Now when I do travel it's not always for pleasure. Actually it's mostly work. But it's a nice escape from the day to day routine.  This time I get PAID while I'm out there meeting people, seeing places and, when I have some free time, immerse myself in the local culture, all the while enjoying the email-free (well, sometimes) getaway, until I have to come back to it all again.

Unfortunately, in this line of work, the trips are sporadic, last minute and dependent heavily on availability of funding (from somewhere else), so I don't as yet know when I will be traveling again.  However, work trip or not, I think I'll keep an eye out for the next Air NZ or Virgin Samoa special...please airfare gods, send me a sign...sooner rather than later. :)

V for Vat day?

Yes, it's V day again and the corny hearts and teddy bears are out in full force.  I for one have never celebrated this particular holiday...well not with a boyfriend anyway.

I have, however, attended many a "I hate Valentines Day" party with the girlfriends and boy/girlfriends. Lol. It was just another excuse to dress up and get drunk. Pfft! Why not?

Last year the boy and I had only been dating for about 4 months so when it came around this time he completely forgot (and so did I...but really), and I got pissed roaring drunk with my friends like every other year. Yeah, in my mind I was still single. Haha.

Well, how do you celebrate a day like today when the other person isn't here? This year we celebrated it early - during one of NZ's long weekends (they've had a lot of those in the last 2-3 weeks).  He flew over and spent three days with me before going back in time for work. Now if that isn't romantic I don't know what is! Ha!

For a guy who's idea of a fancy meal is taking me to the drive through at McDonald's, that was a pretty big gesture.

So he's probably forgotten it's Valentines Day today. He'll call me later and remind me that he came over two weeks ago and we celebrated it then..."remember?".  Yeah and just like last year, you'll be making up for it on my birthday, when I come over next time, our anniversary, and Christmas.  Yeah right.

So here's wishing you all, if not a happy Valentine's Day, then a passably pleasant one at that :)

To all the lovers out there who DO celebrate it, enjoy and send me some heart shaped chocolate candy when you get the chance. To all the singles (i.e. leai se Valentine whatsoever)...the party this year will be at Club X at Matautu Tai! See you there ;)

here's to another 38 more!

On a lighter note, my parents celebrate 38 years of wedded bliss today! :)

They continue to be an example to all of us and are testament that a bond between man and wife can be sacred and can withstand the test of time, 7 kids, 11 grandkids, and old age.  Ha! If I ever get married I want what they have.

Love you both so much! Happy Anniversary! Here's to another 38 more!
xoxo

jealousy...

What is it, really?

In one of our more "serious" conversations recently the boy and I had discussed this topic to some length.  Both of us have trouble expressing ourselves verbally so these "discussions" are very few and far between, but because it takes too much energy to fight over the littlest thing (plus the distance makes it pointless to really get into the whole spirit of fighting), we force ourselves to talk about it.  Very "grown-up" of us, isn't it?

It all started from an incident that happened last year in September.  Yes it's been 5 months but better late than never.  I was in Auckland for a meeting, which his office had been part of so he was also there.  Usually at these meetings, there's an opening reception at the end of the first day.  So he took me around and introduced me to some of his work mates. One of which was a very cheeky Filipino guy who had obviously had too much to drink and was flirting openly with me while the boy watched from not 6 feet away with a disapproving scowl on his face.

Being the "social butterfly" that I am (hmph!), I was flirting right back thinking, this guy is harmless! He's in his 40s, comes up to my shoulder, and is pleasant enough company since we were trying to mingle and not make it too obvious that we're secretly making eyes at each other across the room. You know? Safe.

Well someone didn't think so!

I have no idea how we got to the topic of the Maori hongi, but before I knew it the little guy leaned over and gave me one! Nose rub and everything! The boy must've been seeing red just then because he took me out of there so fast I didn't know what had happened! Haha.

Of course instead of causing a scene or yelling at me about it he kept it all in.  I think he was too mad to talk.  Being the open minded, laid back, SANE person that I was, I brushed it off and told him he was overreacting and had nothing to worry about from that guy. I mean, hello! Haha. And that caused him to shut up even more.

So 5 months later I knew it was still nagging at him and I asked him again...and so it ALL came out.  Why he felt like that, how hurt he was that I didn't think it was a big deal (I can be an insensitive cow sometimes I admit), that he'd had similar experiences in the past and didn't want them repeated...etc etc.

Ok, maybe I get where you're coming from. MAYBE. If he was doing the hongi with someone from my office would I get jealous? If it was in that setting and that situation? I don't think so. But people are different. I don't get jealous that easily.  If I trust you , I trust you. If I don't then I won't even bother. Simple.

Maybe I've spent too much of my life being single that I don't notice the little nuances and differences of being in a relationship with someone.  I'm not always tuned into someone else's feelings or how they would react to something I would say or do. I just carry on the way I've always done and maybe that's part of the problem. But then, if that's who they fell for in the first place why should I change? Haha. Stubborn to the end.

But yeah, how would you define jealousy in your relationship? Am I being so unreasonable? Does he have a point? I'm trying to see it from his perspective and I've acknowledged that his feelings count for something.  I'll be more tuned in next time. The idea of him having reason to be jealous is what I find irrational. He says he trusts me. I've told him I loved him. What's there more to say?

Anyway, this whole internalising and over-thinking things needs to stop because he really thinks he's the jealous type. I don't see it. But then again do I really want to?